Failed? Made a regrettable mistake? Screwed up your life?
Here are the ways on how to stay positive when life is pulling you down.
I had a very happy going life before 2017 started. I was into a really great relationship. My work was going great. Quite satisfied in the monetary terms. Used to party a lot with friends. Followed my interests at their best. And everything which should be there in a normal happy life was there.
Now an abrupt twist in the story. My 2017 started with a bombardment continuing itself in other forms and into other areas of my life month by month. I was entangled in the complexities of life. Be it a relationship, work, money and almost all those things which used to be my strength.
I was feeling suffocated within myself with the feelings of disappointment from the people, losses and unexpected folds.
I shared a few things with my parents especially my mother who always stood with me all my life like a friend. But still, even in those few things which I tried discussing with her, there are many things which I couldn’t tell her because of the reasons like, universal and unique love parents have for their children making them very fragile and at the same time complicated in certain matters related to children.
Discussed it with few of my very close friends who even understood my reasons and situations really well. They tried guiding me for my own good. But actually, when there is a storm, a deep sense of frustration and anger within you and you are not finding a passage to vent it out, nothing goes into your head straight. I guess it must have happened with most of you at some point or the other in your life.
I was feeling damn alone, terrified and screaming within myself. Thinking what to do and how to do. How to get back in the most genuine forms what I had lost and how to strengthen up those important pillars of my life which got weak by the force of time and situations.
Life never goes the way we plan it. Each one of us tries to control our circumstances but we cannot.
As great minds have said, “Life is a journey and not some sort of destination”. This journey really sucks sometimes. Bring storms and make you stand on cliffs abruptly. What I knew during that difficult times or season of my life was “this is a battle I would be fighting against myself.”
Each one of us can endure pains and problems. But dealing with them, dealing with your pains, letdowns, disappointments makes us resilient.
Obstacles are part of life. And without developing the understanding and sense to overcome those obstacles you won’t go very far in life. Life can be a bitch at times and you all know it. And it will certainly, get you down at times.
So, what key things should you follow or focus upon when life is pulling you down like anything. What to do to stay positive? Here are a few self-experienced tactics I have used in my life to combat difficult times:
I used to be really bad at this. Never gave quality time to me and only me. Did a lot for others. Thought of others day and night. Always focused on minting money. But in all this, I was nowhere for me. And that was a mistake I was making. I forgot myself completely between all those people and materialistic and non-materialistic things.
I began making efforts to be kind to myself. Did I make a mistake? Yes, so what? Who hasn’t? What you all need to realize is that failure is part and parcel of our life. Take a long breath. Stop overthinking. Instead of grinding all the negative things inside your head, celebrate your accomplishments!
Start developing a new constructive habit. Learn something new. It can be learning to play any musical instrument, writing poetry, going on an adventure trip, or anything of your interests and niche which gives you happiness and joy from inside.
Talking about myself, I used to sing songs and record them. Then I tune into them to analyze the glitches I have made to make further improvements. I did that not to show it to someone or as a preparation for some upcoming singing talent show like Indian Idol. I was doing it for the sake of my own satisfaction and contentment, singing being my area of interest.
Believe me, when you honestly do something of your interest or have passion into, you will forget all your pains and problems for that span of time. You will feel light, happy and relieved. Keep doing that continuously or frequently as much as you can.
Create a Positive Environment
During my down phase in 2017 slowly and gradually with the time, I started focusing on job switch particularly outside Delhi, where already I had seen a lot. Finally, I got a nice new job. So, Packed my bags and migrated from Delhi to a new city Bareilly located in the western region of Uttar Pradesh state in India.
I got a newly constructed rented apartment there by luck. Arranged and aligned all of my belongings and luggage. And then started my own mini project sort of thing in the context of interior designing and decoration. Researched, added to cart and finally ordered various articles and items for home decoration. Decorated my living room and my bedroom the ultimate way I wanted. Though I did all of this within a budget, the overall resultant was fantastic, making me feel proud of myself and most importantly happy & light.
I never realized earlier in my life that I can be pretty good at home decor. But finally, there was something in front of my eyes. Something pleasing with the decoration of Moroccan lightings, a new bamboo sofa set, an afghani carpet and a lot of paintings and showpieces.
All this happened as a change in me because I intended to bring that change. To give air to the positive thoughts buried inside me somewhere for a long time. I intended to bring a change in my surroundings, in my environment resulting in a positive change in me. A much-needed change.
Not all of us have the option of changing our physical environment, but we can find out small ways to make our surroundings more positive.
Set your boundaries from miserable people. They love the company. Some people are more than happy to drag you down with them. You need to face them, spend the least time with them, or say a final goodbye to them. Life is too short. So, surround yourself with people and experiences that give you positive vibes and not bring you down.
Turn it Upside Down
I am unmarried, young, have a life full of unseen opportunities standing in front of me. Yes, I might have made a mistake but didn’t let it define me. You also may fail at some point but can still overcome.
As a normal human tendency, rather than looking at even one positive thing in an adverse situation, we get discouraged or lose hope, isn’t it? For something looking negative or disappointing for now, may prove very beneficial or worth happening in the long run.
Thinking positively is the communication you do with yourself. Say to yourself what have you learned and not where you failed.
”Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.”– Lyndon B. Johnson’s, Ex U.S President
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